Why Life Insurance Should Be Part of Your Long-Term Financial Plan

When most people think of long-term financial planning, they immediately consider savings accounts, investments, and retirement funds. While these are critical components of a healthy financial strategy, there is one foundational element that is often overlooked: life insurance. Including life insurance in your long-term financial plan is not only wise—it’s essential for ensuring the financial stability of your loved ones and protecting the wealth you’ve worked hard to build.

What Is Life Insurance Really For?

At its core, life insurance is a financial safety net. In the event of your passing, it provides a tax-free lump sum to your designated beneficiaries. This money can be used for a wide variety of purposes:

  • Covering funeral and final expenses
  • Paying off remaining debts and mortgages
  • Replacing lost income
  • Funding your children’s education
  • Supporting your spouse’s retirement
  • Maintaining your family’s standard of living

In other words, life insurance is designed to fill the financial gap left behind and to ensure your loved ones are not burdened with financial hardship during an already difficult time.

Why It’s Essential in Long-Term Planning

1. Protecting Your Family’s Future

One of the most important reasons to include life insurance in your financial plan is to protect your family. Life is unpredictable, and without proper protection, your family could be left scrambling to cover expenses or make difficult lifestyle changes in your absence.

2. Ensuring Debt Doesn’t Become a Legacy

If you have outstanding loans—such as a mortgage, car loan, or credit card debt—life insurance can ensure those financial obligations don’t fall on your loved ones. A policy that covers debts allows your family to retain assets like the family home without struggling to make payments.

3. Providing Income Replacement

If your household relies on your income, losing it unexpectedly could lead to financial instability. Life insurance helps replace your income, giving your family time to adjust and continue meeting their financial goals.

4. Supplementing Retirement Plans

Some types of life insurance, like whole life or universal life, include a cash value component that grows over time. This can act as a supplemental asset in your retirement strategy—one that you may be able to borrow against or withdraw from later in life.

Types of Life Insurance to Consider

Understanding your options is key to choosing the right policy for your needs:

  • Term Life Insurance: Affordable and straightforward, term policies cover you for a specific period (e.g., 10, 20, or 30 years). It’s ideal for those who want high coverage at low cost.
  • Whole Life Insurance: Provides lifelong coverage and includes a savings component that builds cash value over time.
  • Universal Life Insurance: Offers flexibility in premiums and death benefits, plus a cash value component that can be adjusted as your financial needs change.

Choosing the right type depends on your financial goals, age, health, and budget. Many people start with term coverage and later transition to permanent coverage as their financial picture evolves.

When Should You Buy Life Insurance?

The best time to buy life insurance is now. The younger and healthier you are, the more affordable your premiums will be. Waiting until you are older or have developed health issues can significantly increase the cost—or limit your eligibility altogether.

Even if you’re single or don’t have children, life insurance can be a smart move. It ensures that any final expenses or debts are not passed on to family members and can be used as a future financial asset.

Common Misconceptions About Life Insurance

  • “I’m too young to need it.” In reality, this is the best time to lock in low rates.
  • “I get life insurance through my job.” Employer-provided policies are usually limited in coverage and often not portable if you leave your job.
  • “It’s too expensive.” Term policies are often less than the cost of a daily coffee—especially for younger individuals.

Where to Start

Getting started with life insurance begins with evaluating your current financial situation and future goals. Calculate how much coverage your family would need to replace your income, pay debts, and handle living expenses. Then, compare different policy types and speak to a financial advisor who understands the nuances of life insurance planning.

If you’re looking for Life Insurance Vancouver experts, there are many licensed professionals who can walk you through your options and help you build a policy that fits your financial strategy.

Life insurance isn’t just about what happens after you’re gone—it’s about what happens while you’re still here. It provides peace of mind, financial flexibility, and security that your efforts to build a strong future won’t be in vain. By incorporating life insurance into your long-term financial plan, you’re taking a powerful step toward protecting what matters most.

Lions Peak Financial Group – Life Insurance Vancouver
Phone: (855) 349-7968
100 Park Royal, Suite 200
West Vancouver, BC V7T1A2
Canada
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You Deserve to Smile

you have grown used to plastering a smile on your face
reminding everyone that you are doing just okay
but the minute that they let go of your gaze is
when you struggle to bring that same joy to yourself
perhaps you feel as though your inner thoughts
have cut off all of your circulation and your ability
to vocalize what is scattered along the corners of your mind
so you eventually find yourself in this cycle that gets no recognition
but you cannot reach your full potential being afraid of vulnerability
there will be times when you feel compelled to express yourself
because somewhere within you there was a door that crept open
that held your self-confidence but for whatever reason you could not see it
you see there will be moments when the door to confidence is anything
but possible to open and you will feel exhausted at the number of times
that you tried to see the possibility of it all again
i am telling you now that you are stronger than you may think
and your persistence to find confidence is not to be ignored
think about it
the time that you have felt discouraged towards moving forward
but something happens that stops you in your tracks
big or small
whatever it was somehow brought that smile back to your face
you did not expect it to be that simple but it was
allow that to be the reminder that centers your intrusive thoughts
every emotion that washes over us is temporary
the lessons that we learn throughout the journey of life
will stay with us much longer
you deserve to smile
-p.m.c.

Poet Paige Cary
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What Slipped

Poet Paige Cary

you finally found what slipped from you without your knowledge
it took some time to remember but you have to know
that you had to go for a little while
at the moment of destruction your higher being
knew that it was time to step in
not that you lacked the strength to be rid of this pain
that was beginning to seep into you
but there is a part of yourself that sees all things that exist
beyond what you can comfortably hold onto in real-time
the truth has a way of shrinking you down
by making it close to impossible to believe that
you are entirely worthy of a peaceful life
while you never thought it would happen to you
the stories that belonged to all the other names
always left a pit that had no ending in your stomach
you could only imagine the sheer anguish that
took over another who had been violated
never was it your truth to carry
but only a hand to be held for support
until the table changed positions bringing you to the head
with the spotlight beaming on you in a way that left you exposed beyond belief
the story that was once a faraway tale that loomed alongside your fears
now transmuted into your own complex story to piece together
your memory became hazy in ways that you never experienced before
the act was debilitating but it was the waves that came
with the aftermath that left you incapable of moving forward
the world around you rapidly flashed by without consideration of your new reality
everything that you thought you knew about yourself seemed foreign
you never thought the day would come when you would lose trust in yourself
but there you were running away from what they did to you
without understanding that you were only trying to protect yourself
from reliving the tragedy over and over again
but it got to the point that this became your daily routine
escaping to cope only allowed the wound to twist itself around your center
instead of going inward you found solace in mimicking
the pain you felt when your body shut down to their touch
jump starting the patterns of doing anything to replicate that feeling upon yourself
failing to get it just right since you were not the one to torment yourself to no end
all this did was cover you in bruises that left its marks along your skin
your neglected mind needed you to wake up and pay attention
as soon as you remember who you are that is when you can bloom back into yourself
resistance towards honoring what you deserved in that moment will be present often
but holding space for that truth will bring the opportunity to mend what was taken from you

-p.m.c

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the dark place

you should have never been handed the cards of being the being
that needed to grow up before the ones you were surrounded by
being young with a mind that has molded at a pace that was beyond your control
only left you staggering in a way that was meant to slow down to be steady
more than anything you wanted to exist in real time without panicking
about the world seeing what can make you crumble if you drift back to the dark place
you want to forget but you found a home in that dark place
you knew which way to go in that space
the nightmares that leeched onto you against your will
ring at a frequency that is deafening to bare alone
of course you tried to escape this tortuous site
but your feet left your mind behind as they led you to the twisted truth
your greatest fears happened
not once
not twice
but thrice
the charm of three found a way to gut you from the inside out
there you are weaving around these horrors
doing whatever it takes to look away at what had happened to you
but being an owner in the dark place means running away is a game that fools play
the exhaustion settles in quicker than anticipated and your eyes grow heavy
at the sight of foreign beings entering your sacred temple
listening as you say no but the rhythm seems to pick up more
maybe you were not heard clearly enough
no
the word that is a full-blown sentence yet
it is the one word that seems to baffle the abuser to no end
being a bystander within the dark place
you are in awe at how life slipped from your eyes
after the desperate attempts to have these attacks come to a halt
your body became a shell of itself
a protective shield encapsulated around your spirit to keep you as safe as can be
watching the act in its entirety has become the most significant feature that plays in your mind
as the loops of your trauma move backward and forward
there is a dim light that is almost too faint to be seen inside the heart of this gloomed filled space
but it catches your attention enough to yank yourself free of the pain that has seeped into you
you hesitate as you approach the light
it is as if you have forgotten what it feels like to be embraced by the warmth of new possibilities
before you reach out to grasp this light
there are shadows of figures lingering through the entrance to this new beginning

Poet Paige Cary

there is a familiarity that bombards you
you see yourself
your thirteen-year-old self
your nineteen-year-old self
and your twenty-five-year-old self
but standing shyly behind these versions of you
you notice a little girl
the curls of her hair dance around her chocolate-splashed face
each of you making room for her and giving her the time to step forward to look at you
she examines you with a sense of curiosity that only a child could do so well
there is zero judgment that exudes from this girl
all at once she breaks into a smile that unlocks what has been hidden
the only words that fall from her are that
she wants you to follow her out of the darkness and you can trust her guidance
you willingly follow and take one final glance at what has to be left behind
there is fear that is attached to walking away from what has harmed us
we know that sort of agony better than any other experience that has found its way to us
but when the trust that is placed within yourself begins to fall into alignment
a sense of peace will wash over you and give you the chance
to be reintroduced to who you are today because this version of you
can finally give grace to where you have been and make room for where you are going
-p.m.c.

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me too

Poet Paige Cary

to every person who has been
sexually harassed
groped
molested
assaulted
or raped
i want you to know that my heart beats with yours
i promise you that myself
and so many others stand behind your experience
my story is valid
and your story is valid
my pain is real
and your pain is real
my voice deserves to be heard
and so does yours
if you are ashamed and feel as though you are unable to use your voice
that is okay
nobody has the power to make you speak out if you are not ready to
period
there is no time limit for the healing process
continue to take every single day
one day at a time
we survived the worst
and we can only grow from here
some may think that speaking out about rape culture is a lost cause
but i disagree on too many levels
we cannot continue to condone that sort of thinking anymore
it is a new day
and survivors will no longer be silenced
quit justifying the actions of people who can violate another person’s boundaries
we do not care about what you have to say
it will always be wrong
stand with survivors
the only way a difference will become a reality is when victim-blaming is no more
there is power in numbers
so stand with me and the beautiful people who have gone through trauma
and to my darlings who have gone through any of this
ME TOO

-p.m.c.

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Meet the Author-Paige Cary

During the month of April 2023, which is #sexualassaultawarenessmonth and #childabusepreventionmonth, we will feature original works created for the 1 in 3 Foundation by artist Paige Cary. Paige’s art will be a part of our “Your Voice Matters” Program, encouraging other survivors to speak up and out. Her poems and short stories will be displayed on our blog once a week during April at www.1in3foundation.org.

Artist Paige Cary

Meet Paige Cary, the Philadelphia-based artist who discovered her love for storytelling at the young age of ten when she first stepped into an acting class. As she grew into her teenage years, Paige found herself with a journal in hand, capturing the free-flowing thoughts that came to her mind. Though acting was her passion, writing became an inseparable part of her creative soul.This unrelenting drive to express herself led Paige to pursue a Bachelor of Fine Arts degree in acting from the prestigious AMDA College and Conservatory of the Performing Arts in New York City and Los Angeles. However, after graduation, Paige realized that she needed to focus on her mental health and took a step back to heal from her past experiences.During this introspective period, Paige poured her heart and soul into writing and found solace in her debut poetry book, “A Paige in My Diary”. The book is a collection of powerful and poignant poetry that aims to spark conversations on taboo topics that people feel too ashamed to discuss.Paige believes that her creative mind is her most significant asset and strives to use her experiences to inspire and guide others to find their own voice. She is currently working on her second collection of poetry and her first fiction novel, all while pursuing her dreams of being an actress.As the years push forward, Paige looks forward to what the future holds for her as an artist, confident that her creative gifts will continue to expand and make a positive difference in the world.

TW/CW: Some poems may make mentionof sexual trauma and could be triggering for readers.

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LLC vs. S-Corp: Which Business Structure is Right for Your Community-Focused Organization?

Starting a community-focused business or nonprofit venture often begins with choosing the right legal structure. Many entrepreneurs choose between an LLC (Limited Liability Company) and an S-Corp (S Corporation), as both offer liability protection, but each comes with unique tax and operational advantages.

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Here’s a guide to help you understand the differences between LLCs and S-Corps and decide which structure best supports your mission.

1. Understand the Basics of LLCs and S-Corps

When deciding between iowa llc vs s corp, it’s important to consider factors like tax treatment, ownership flexibility, and operational requirements to choose the structure that best aligns with your business goals. LLCs and S-Corps are two popular business structures that offer liability protection for owners, but they differ in tax treatment, ownership requirements, and operational complexity.

  • LLC (Limited Liability Company): An LLC provides liability protection while allowing flexible management and tax treatment, often considered simpler for small or single-member organizations.
  • S-Corp (S Corporation): An S-Corp also offers liability protection but operates as a corporation with certain tax benefits, especially for small businesses looking to minimize self-employment taxes.

Understanding the core characteristics of each structure helps clarify how they align with your goals.

2. Consider Liability Protection for Your Organization

Both LLCs and S-Corps protect your personal assets from business liabilities, which is essential for community-focused ventures that handle donations, grants, or community events.

  • Asset Protection: If your organization faces a lawsuit or debt, personal assets like homes or savings accounts are protected.
  • Credibility and Professionalism: Many donors and community partners prefer working with registered organizations due to the transparency and credibility they offer.

Both structures provide liability protection, but consider any state-specific regulations that might affect community-based organizations.

3. Evaluate Tax Implications

One of the biggest differences between an LLC and an S-Corp lies in how they’re taxed. Choosing the right structure can affect your tax obligations and savings.

  • LLC Taxation: LLCs are usually taxed as pass-through entities, meaning business income passes through to the owners’ personal tax returns. This approach works well for smaller organizations or startups with straightforward income.
  • S-Corp Taxation: S-Corps also offer pass-through taxation but allow owners to take a portion of earnings as distributions rather than salary, which can reduce self-employment taxes.
  • Self-Employment Tax Considerations: S-Corps may save on self-employment taxes for owners, making them advantageous for organizations with higher revenue.

Consulting with a tax advisor is beneficial to maximize savings and align with your organization’s financial goals.

4. Ownership Flexibility and Requirements

LLCs and S-Corps differ in ownership rules, which may influence your choice depending on your organization’s goals and expansion plans.

  • LLC Ownership Flexibility: LLCs can have unlimited members, including individuals, corporations, and even foreign entities. This structure is ideal for organizations with a diverse ownership group.
  • S-Corp Ownership Limitations: S-Corps are limited to 100 shareholders, all of whom must be U.S. citizens or residents. Additionally, S-Corps cannot have partnerships, corporations, or foreign ownership.
  • Ideal for Small, Local Groups: S-Corps work well for smaller groups focused on local impact and with clear ownership structures, while LLCs are better suited for groups with more complex ownership.

Choosing the right structure based on ownership needs can prevent complications as your organization grows, and incorporating AI tools from Leonardo.Ai can further streamline decision-making and enhance long-term efficiency.

5. Operational and Administrative Requirements

S-Corps have stricter compliance requirements, which may be more demanding for small, community-focused organizations, while LLCs offer more operational flexibility.

  • LLC Operations: LLCs are generally simpler to manage, with fewer record-keeping requirements, making them ideal for organizations focused on impact rather than administration.
  • S-Corp Formalities: S-Corps must hold regular board meetings, maintain formal meeting minutes, and follow more rigid operational procedures.
  • Annual Reports and Filings: Both LLCs and S-Corps require annual reports and other state filings, but S-Corps may involve additional paperwork.

LLCs are often preferred by organizations with limited resources for administrative work, allowing more time and funds for community-focused initiatives.

6. Profit Distribution and Compensation Rules

Understanding how profits are distributed in each structure helps you align financial strategies with your organization’s needs and goals.

  • LLC Profit Distribution: LLC members can distribute profits flexibly, without rigid rules for salary versus distribution.
  • S-Corp Salary and Dividends: S-Corp owners are required to take a “reasonable salary” before receiving distributions. This can reduce tax liability but also requires more financial planning.
  • Ideal for Growth-Oriented Organizations: S-Corps may be advantageous if your organization plans to generate substantial revenue, as they allow for a strategic approach to owner compensation.

For simpler or part-time operations, an LLC may provide the ease and flexibility needed, while an S-Corp is better suited for growing organizations with more significant income. Working with experts like The Marketing Heaven can also support that growth by amplifying brand visibility and digital reach

7. Community Impact and Legacy Goals

Consider how your chosen structure aligns with your organization’s community impact, mission, and long-term goals.

  • LLCs for Flexible Missions: If your community-focused mission may evolve over time, an LLC offers flexibility in ownership, profit distribution, and operational changes.
  • S-Corps for Established Visions: If your organization has a well-defined mission and ownership, an S-Corp provides a structured approach to growth and financial management.
  • Legacy Planning: Think about how your structure will affect future changes in leadership, ownership, or succession planning.

Choosing a structure that aligns with your mission and legacy goals ensures your organization can adapt and thrive long-term.

Final Thoughts

Choosing between an LLC and an S-Corp is a significant decision that impacts taxes, operations, and mission fulfillment. By evaluating each structure’s benefits and limitations, you can make an informed choice that supports your organization’s goals. 1in3Foundation.org is here to provide guidance and resources for community-focused entrepreneurs seeking to build sustainable and impactful organizations.

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The Role of a Guardian ad Litem in Child Custody Disputes

When children become the subject of a custody dispute, ensuring their best interests is paramount. One key player in this process is the Guardian ad Litem (GAL), a court-appointed advocate dedicated solely to representing the child’s welfare. This article explores the vital role of a Guardian ad Litem in child custody disputes, the processes involved, and how their work contributes to a fair and balanced resolution.

What Is a Guardian ad Litem?

A Guardian ad Litem is an individual appointed by the court to represent the best interests of a child during legal proceedings, especially in cases involving custody disputes, abuse, or neglect. Unlike other legal professionals who may represent the interests of the parents or other parties, the GAL’s primary focus is the child’s well-being. Their involvement is crucial in ensuring that a child’s voice is heard, even when they might not be able to advocate for themselves. In many custody cases, understanding dads rights is essential to ensuring fathers have a fair opportunity to remain actively involved in their children’s lives.

Appointment and Qualifications

How a Guardian ad Litem Is Appointed

The appointment of a Guardian ad Litem is typically initiated by the court in family law cases. Judges may order the appointment if they believe that an independent assessment of the child’s needs is necessary. The decision to appoint a GAL can be influenced by several factors, including:

  • Complexity of the Case: High-conflict custody disputes or cases involving allegations of abuse often require a GAL’s intervention.
  • Child’s Vulnerability: When a child is particularly vulnerable or unable to fully express their preferences, a GAL can serve as their voice.
  • Parental Disagreement: In situations where parents have significantly divergent views on what is best for the child, a GAL can help mediate and provide objective recommendations.

Qualifications and Background

Guardians ad Litem are usually experienced professionals with backgrounds in social work, psychology, or law. They undergo specialized training in child development, family dynamics, and the legal standards governing child welfare. Their expertise enables them to assess the unique needs of each child and provide the court with informed recommendations that prioritize the child’s safety, emotional health, and overall well-being.

Responsibilities and Duties

Assessing the Child’s Best Interests

The primary responsibility of a Guardian ad Litem is to determine what arrangement will serve the best interests of the child. This involves:

  • Conducting Interviews: The GAL speaks with the child, parents, extended family members, teachers, and other relevant individuals to gather a comprehensive view of the child’s situation.
  • Reviewing Documentation: They review medical records, school reports, and any prior evaluations or investigations related to the child’s welfare.
  • Observing Interactions: Spending time with the child in various settings allows the GAL to observe parent-child interactions and assess the overall home environment.

Making Recommendations

Based on their investigations, the GAL prepares a detailed report for the court. This report may include:

  • Custody Recommendations: Being familiar with the benefits of primary physical custody, they can provide suggestions for primary custody, visitation schedules, or supervised visits.
  • Parental Guidance: Insights into which parental arrangements may better serve the child’s needs.
  • Concerns and Areas for Intervention: Identifying potential issues that require further attention, such as safety concerns or the need for counseling services.

Mediating Disputes

In some cases, the Guardian ad Litem may also serve as a mediator, working with both parents and with family solicitors in essex to develop a mutually acceptable plan that aligns with the child’s best interests. Their neutral position allows them to bridge the gap between conflicting perspectives, fostering an environment where the child’s needs are the priority. A family law attorney can provide valuable guidance and support to help you navigate complex legal issues involving children and divorce. You may also hire a divorce mediation lawyer if you want to ensure that your rights and your kid’s interests are protected throughout the divorce proceedings.

The Impact on Child Custody Cases

Ensuring a Child-Centered Approach

The involvement of a Guardian ad Litem helps shift the focus of custody disputes from the adversarial interests of the parents to the welfare of the child. By providing an independent assessment, the GAL ensures that decisions made by the court are well-informed and tailored to the child’s specific needs.

Balancing Emotional and Practical Considerations

Child custody disputes often involve complex emotional dynamics. A GAL is uniquely positioned to balance these emotional elements with practical considerations, such as the stability of the home environment and the child’s educational and social needs. Their recommendations can help prevent decisions that might inadvertently harm the child’s long-term development. Parents or guardians are also advised to learn the rules about multiple child savings accounts to secure their future.

Addressing Urgent Concerns

In some cases, immediate action is required to ensure a child’s safety and well-being. For instance, during periods of emergency family maintenance, when immediate temporary measures are needed to protect a child, a Guardian ad Litem can provide the court with rapid assessments and recommendations to safeguard the child until a more permanent resolution is reached.

Benefits and Limitations

Benefits

  • Objective Perspective: As a neutral party, the GAL brings an unbiased viewpoint to a highly charged emotional process.
  • Expertise: With specialized training in child development and family dynamics, the GAL is well-equipped to understand the nuanced needs of children in custody disputes.
  • Focus on Child Welfare: Their sole focus on the child’s best interests helps ensure that the outcomes of custody cases are centered around the child’s needs rather than parental conflicts.

Limitations

  • Limited Scope: While a GAL can provide valuable recommendations, the ultimate decision rests with the judge, who must balance multiple factors.
  • Resource Constraints: In some cases, the number of cases and limited resources might restrict the depth of investigation a GAL can conduct.
  • Variability in Training: The effectiveness of a GAL can vary depending on their training, experience, and the specific practices of the jurisdiction.

In child custody disputes, the role of a Guardian ad Litem is indispensable. By focusing on the best interests of the child, conducting thorough investigations, working with a Naperville family law attorney, and providing the court with detailed recommendations, the GAL helps ensure that the most vulnerable party in the dispute—the child—receives the care, protection, and support they need. While there are inherent challenges and limitations, the expertise and dedicated focus of a Guardian ad Litem remain a cornerstone of a fair and child-centered custody resolution process.

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Fighting the Comfort

Written by Kendra Bennett, LPC

So, after my last blog post, I have been feeling extremely vulnerable.

I find after feeling all of the raw emotions from a trigger, I become extremely irritable, angry, judgmental, and quick to lash out at others. Sometimes I don’t even realize it until something is at the tip of my tongue and my shame is about to blow up all over someone else.

Let me take a minute to explain shame the “Brene Brown way.”

Shame is that little voice inside my head telling me I am not good enough, that I am damaged and broken. Telling me I am not worthy of love and belonging, telling me that I need to do whatever it takes to make sure people do not see the real me.  How do we do that? We use armor like we are going into battle! The problem is, this is a battle we are only fighting with ourselves and this armor doesn’t keep us safe. It keeps us disconnected from others. We have spent our lives thinking we are damaged, less than, broken, and irreparable. We unconsciously believe that if people were to get close enough to see our imperfections they would take off running in the other direction.

Linda Hartling calls these “Strategies for Disconnection.” Brene Brown calls them our “Shame Shields.” When we feel shame, we respond in one or more of these ways:

Moving Away – Withdrawing, hiding, silencing ourselves, and keeping secrets

Think back to your trauma: I did all of the above in an attempt to avoid connecting with others out of fear that they will see “the broken me” believing I had a HUGE sign on my forehead telling everyone what was happening.)

Moving Toward – Seeking to please people

You know when you are constantly dancing and performing for everyone around you? Trying to be everything for everyone and completely neglecting yourself? This allows me to NOT pay attention to myself. The more people like me the more value I must have.

Moving Against – Trying to gain power over others, being aggressive, using shame to fight shame

I hate to admit this but I do this. We all do this. If I am hurting (real or perceived hurt), I go here. Usually it takes a bit to recognize that I am trying to bring someone into my pain.

 

So now what?

You have to speak your story.  You have to find someone you trust, someone you can talk to and tell your story to.  Someone who will sit in the story and hold it with you instead of create more shame. Someone who can say, “Tell me more”.

I would love nothing more than to tell you that once you do this everything will go away. But I am here, writing this post because I still have to be mindful of where I am emotionally. In a way, there is an end, there is an end to living in the past where you start looking towards the future.  The more we speak our stories the more power and control we have over them.  I know you are saying, “Yeah right!” Our stories can spin like a hamster wheel in our brains as that hamster wheel keeps getting thicker and thicker until it takes up all the space in our heads. The more we tell our story in trusted spaces, the more we connect with others, the more we connect with others, the less shame we feel and the more we feel we belong.  The less shame we feel, the stronger we are.  I can keep going, but what I really want to say is:

YOU have been so strong ALONE…

Is it not time to let someone help you?

From my own experience, there will be times when I need to call a friend (or my husband) and say “I think I am about to lose it.” I have found the more I lean on these people, the less I need to lean.  There will be days that I am not strong enough to continue to hold my story by myself. Those days still bring me down but not for long.

You can do this. You are precious. You are loved and you belong!

/by