you finally found what slipped from you without your knowledge
it took some time to remember but you have to know
that you had to go for a little while
at the moment of destruction your higher being
knew that it was time to step in
not that you lacked the strength to be rid of this pain
that was beginning to seep into you
but there is a part of yourself that sees all things that exist
beyond what you can comfortably hold onto in real-time
the truth has a way of shrinking you down
by making it close to impossible to believe that
you are entirely worthy of a peaceful life
while you never thought it would happen to you
the stories that belonged to all the other names
always left a pit that had no ending in your stomach
you could only imagine the sheer anguish that
took over another who had been violated
never was it your truth to carry
but only a hand to be held for support
until the table changed positions bringing you to the head
with the spotlight beaming on you in a way that left you exposed beyond belief
the story that was once a faraway tale that loomed alongside your fears
now transmuted into your own complex story to piece together
your memory became hazy in ways that you never experienced before
the act was debilitating but it was the waves that came
with the aftermath that left you incapable of moving forward
the world around you rapidly flashed by without consideration of your new reality
everything that you thought you knew about yourself seemed foreign
you never thought the day would come when you would lose trust in yourself
but there you were running away from what they did to you
without understanding that you were only trying to protect yourself
from reliving the tragedy over and over again
but it got to the point that this became your daily routine
escaping to cope only allowed the wound to twist itself around your center
instead of going inward you found solace in mimicking
the pain you felt when your body shut down to their touch
jump starting the patterns of doing anything to replicate that feeling upon yourself
failing to get it just right since you were not the one to torment yourself to no end
all this did was cover you in bruises that left its marks along your skin
your neglected mind needed you to wake up and pay attention
as soon as you remember who you are that is when you can bloom back into yourself
resistance towards honoring what you deserved in that moment will be present often
but holding space for that truth will bring the opportunity to mend what was taken from you